Monday, October 24, 2011

One Annoyed Feminist

I have proudly been a feminist since I first heard the term in my early teens.  That's almost three decades.  I don't have a t-shirt.  It's not how I introduce myself: "Hi, I'm Tara and I am a feminist."  But if someone asks me, I answer in the affirmative.  It just made sense to me that all people, regardless of gender, should be treated equally.  That is pretty much it.  There have been times when I have taken some flack for it until I explain the definition of a feminist.  That person often then reluctantly admits to being a feminist too.  How could one not want us to all be treated equally, all to have the same freedom to choose  the life we want?

This morning, on our way to the hardware store, I was listening to a discussion on the radio about the glass ceiling.  A woman (I could find her name but I can't be bothered) was arguing that those women who choose motherhood, either full-time or part-time with part-time including those women who choose to work fewer hours in order to spend more time with their family, are detrimental to women finding equality in the workplace.  Apparently, choosing motherhood over ambitiously pursuing a career is the easy choice.  Huh, easy choice.  Who knew?  Also, apparently, there is a reason why nannies are paid $15/hour while a lawyer is paid several hundred dollars an hour.  Essentially, motherhood can be outsourced and is a leisurely occupation.  Again, who knew?  (This woman obviously hasn't looked at my kitchen sink but I digress.  Us folks of the leisurely sort tend to digress.  See, it's because of all this free time.)   Finally, those who choose to live life in such a way that makes them happy are simply being complacent, that true fulfillment comes from challenging oneself even if it is "painful" (her word, not mine).  Now that I think about it, parenting really hasn't been that challenging and I hear that the teen years are a breeze.  What about all these years when I have simply wanted my children to be happy?  I should have been trying to force them down a path in life that was not of their own calling.  Or maybe that only pertains to girls and women.


Anyways, I shook my fist at the radio --  I really did.  I learned that move from the boys.  It's not the most mature reaction but it sure does feel good -- and continued with my day.  I am now going to step down from the soap box and go eat a bon bon.  I mean, clean some dishes.   And yes, I am still a feminist, just a slightly more annoyed one at the moment.

12 comments:

  1. Oh Tara...I can so relate to this. I can't understand why anyone would think that my staying home is affecting them getting ahead, and who the heck cares if it is - it is MY choice.

    My girlfriend and I have had this talk many times, about how people get ticked off when they see women being homemakers and raising their kids instead of slugging it out in the workforce. I mean, so many women fought for our right to equality within the workforce so we should show this gratitude by leaving someone else to raise our kids. The difference is...now it is a choice. It wasn't always. And that made it inequality. Now, we can choose to work or we can choose to stay home. I'm thankful for that. As for the glass ceiling, maybe it'll always be there. I don't know, but I do know that the women who believe I hide behind my child as a reason to NOT work have something far deeper going on then them simply believing that I am affecting their career. Give me a break. Thanks for this. <3

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  2. There are times for a bit of fist shaking. . . . Enjoy those bonbons and I'll do the same (Ha!)

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  3. Let me join you in eating some bon bons!! I hate hearing programs like that...I'd have been shaking my fist right along side you!!

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  4. i'm with you on this one for sure. oh, don't get me started...

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  5. Right on Tara. I'm with you on this

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  6. Gosh women like that make me mad. They are not really 'sisters' at all,are they?

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  7. ha - i would be shaking my fist at that woman too. reminds me of something similar i heard once on cbc, although instead it was not just about woman, but that young people who choose to stay on my island (not exactly the middle of nowhere, 750,000 people) are not ambitious and tend to be low achievers, not trying to make something of themselves. seriously, just because we don't want a big city lifestyle? argh, another ignorant woman i would shake my fist at.

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  8. oh i'm right with you tara. this kind of thinking is causing so many problems in our society today.

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  9. Oh dear! What happened to women sticking together??? I think it's wonderful that more women (and men) are choosing to spend more time with their families. That's what matters at the end of the day.

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  10. Thanks for writing this! I couldn't agree with you more. And as someone in the comments already said, it's about having the choice. I don't have kids yet, but when I do I will be staying home with them. I can't think of a more important job. And luckily, my guy agrees. He and I feel that if you can afford to have one parent stay home (the mother OR the father) then why wouldn't you?! It's important that men and women are treated equally - that they can work if they want to, or that they can stay home to raise their kids and take care of their home if they want to - whether they are a man or a woman.
    I would have been annoyed hearing that, too!
    x Katherine

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  11. Love your post! Me too! I agree! It seems like she is a remnant of 80's feminism, when woman felt like they needed to be the SAME as men in order to be equal. Today, we strongly celebrate our differences!

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